Many women today desire more life from life than our parents seemed to have. We begin to question ourselves in depth about that and what we are doing.
Many are working in jobs or in their own business so we can have challenge outside our family and fulfill our life's purpose, as well as many other reasons.
What we are really longing for is to be recognised and appreciated for our efforts , knowledge and experience.
Is that enough though?
When you get those feelings do you still question what you do, punish and criticise yourself and wonder if it is really enough?
Will it ever be enough?
So what is really going on?
This often comes down to a few factors, such as low self esteem and low feelings of self worth. Or maybe you are taking on more than you need to so you can receive better feelings about yourself and show you are 'worth it'.
Most people these days have many activities and roles they commit to. Often there is too many and we eventually feel obligated in too many areas of our lives and for too many tasks – we spread ourselves too thin, sacrificing our inner health, physical and happiness. Are you doing this at the moment?
If so the actions below will help you lighten your plate so you don't spread yourself too thin.
For at least a week (preferably four) keep a detailed diary of how you are spending your time – each task and how long it takes. At the end of this time list the tasks you have done and how much time they have taken. You are likely to be surprised.
Now it is time to categorise the tasks you have undertaken and total the time spent in each category. Your categories may include – household, family, friends, career/work, business, creativity, fun, physical health, mental health, spiritual, socialising, love or personal time. For example, if you have spent 3 hours on housework that would be categorised as household.
Next make a list of all the things that are of value and important to you and rank them most important to least important. The most important are things that make you motivated, make your heart flutter and full of love or joy. For example – Family, helping others, business, honesty/integrity, love, health, etc,. Contact us if you would like free a copy of our worksheet to assist you with this.
Now it is time to categorise the tasks you have listed in Action 2 against the your ranked values from Action 3. To do this you must add up the time spent against for each of your valued areas (Action 3). This will highlight any areas of your life where you are not living your values. For example if you had household as taking 8 hours and that is not in your values list then you have a discrepancy. An example is if you have family as taking 36 hours, fun has been measured to have taken 42 hours of the month and these areas are highly ranked in your values, which is ranked higher, fun or family? Let’s say Family was ranked higher on your values than fun, you should note this and ask yourself why you spend so much time on your fun and not with your family.
Differences like this raise the question “What do I need to change to live according to my values?”
To answer this you can look at the tasks you do that take up time and are not high in your values. Can the family members work together to accomplish some of these tasks to share the load and assist each other to have more time to do things that are important to them, or is it time to get someone outside the family to do theses tasks. This often improves family relationship and the quality and enjoyment of life.